"Happily ever after." That's the phrase that's used in fairy tales after the villain is vanquished, the hero or heroine gets their prize, and they settle in for some well-deserved enjoyment of their new life. So now that we're in 2021, with the villain that is 2020 behind us, are we at our "happily ever after"? I think we'll find (if we haven't already), that we might want to leave that idea to the children's books. What a New Year Can't Do The problem with taking our cue from fairy tales is that they're stories. And stories have an end. We eventually close the book and stop the telling. But our lives keep going. There isn't … [Read more...]
Create Massive Leverage with the Last Week of 2020: 19 Experts Show You How to Master 2021 Now
How do you use the last week of the year to be more productive, when the rest of the year has been anything but normal? This is the 5th-annual installment in a series where I look at how we can more effectively use the last week of the year. In normal times, that last week is a chance to do things a little differently. To take stock and make big plans. But when coming to the end of a year like 2020, how can you put a bow on it and move to the next? There are a lot of adjectives that have been floating around for the times we're in (I've adopted "wack" or "wack-a-doo" as my go-to choices). But no matter what you call it, individually … [Read more...]
Why Self-Awareness is Only the First Step
I love that mindfulness has become a bigger thing. I'm basing this on my very unscientific observation that when my mediation practice comes up in conversation, people don't look at me funny. When I suggest that my coaching clients should use mindfulness techniques to improve sales and business performance, they don't think it's an "out there" idea. And many people are excited to share their favorite meditation apps with you. I'm still not sure if it's totally mainstream. But the tools of mindfulness, things like meditation, journaling, or gratitude lists, are becoming much more common in conversation. This is important because … [Read more...]
Acting Perfectly in an Imperfect World
I'm publishing this the day before the national elections in 2020. So that's weighing on my (and everyone else's) mind. The message I want to share is simple. And it might be one of the most political pieces of advice you'll hear from me. Vote. Not just in this election, but every time you can. Show up for off-cycle elections and engage in local policies. Participate. In politics, and the other aspects of your life, when you have an opportunity to act with intention it's important to take it. What if You Are Facing an Imperfect System? I don't think that my exhortation to vote is going to be what gets you off your butt and … [Read more...]
When Saying “I Don’t Understand” is a Cop-Out
I was warned about the joys of watching a small child learn. It really is amazing. Almost daily I can watch my son's understanding of the world evolve and grow. One day he grasps the connection between the light switch and the ceiling fan. The next day he waits by the back door because he knows that when we put his shoes on that we're going out for a walk. He is constantly observing, weighing, and testing. You can almost see his mind work out the causal relationships that govern how the world works around him. I know he still has a lot to figure out (pretty much everything, in fact). And I hope he never stops going through the … [Read more...]
How We All Feel Some Days
Why I Think Self-Care is Really Other-Care
My son's behavior is determined by how I feel. That's one of my big takeaways from the first year of fatherhood. I'm not talking about his actions. Those aren't under my control. Anyone who has walked into a kitchen filled with a toddler and spilled raisins/walnuts/Cheerios will tell you that. His behavior, on the other hand, is how I talk about those actions to myself and to others. And how I frame the impact of those actions. And that is influenced by me way more than him. The Lens We Look Through Matters This idea may seem a bit esoteric and out there. But it's pretty simple to see in effect. Take, for example, feeding … [Read more...]
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