In a conversation with a client recently, I shared that I had been regularly journaling for the past 15 years. He asked me what I found valuable about writing out my thoughts. I told him that for me, a lot of the value lay in the ability to go back months or years, and spy on what younger D. was working on mentally and emotionally. His next question was what I had learned by going back and looking through those journals. "I learned that I keep working on the same shit over and over." And that's the truth. What a decade and a half of journaling has shown me is that there are patterns that just keep repeating. I have the same negative … [Read more...]
Monday Morning Mash-Up – …Then You’re 40 and Married
If you are reading this post on the morning it comes out, it's a national holiday in the US: my birthday (well, it's Labor Day too, I guess). It's a big birthday because I'm turning 4o today! To add even more fun for the month, in just a few days I'll be getting married to an amazing woman. That's a lot of life changes in less than two weeks. Combine that with my new focus on Hyper-Connected Selling, and it's been an interesting summer! And it's been an exciting summer. And at times... a frustrating and challenging summer. I'm always amused by the personal development types who throw out quotes and sayings about how awesome change … [Read more...]
You Can’t Do Anything You Put Your Mind To
No matter how badly you want to, you can't do anything you put your mind to. Sorry. It's a dangerous myth that we often hear when we are children. We are told constantly that "you can do anything you put your mind to" as the moral of the story in sitcoms and Saturday morning cartoons (remember the G.I Joe "knowing is half the battle?). It's dangerous because it's untrue and it usually has the exact opposite effect that's intended. Before you get all huffy, know that I'm a huge proponent of personal growth and development; that's why I know this idea isn't true. No matter what happens, I'm not going to be able to slam-dunk a … [Read more...]
If I Were 22 I Wouldn’t Try to Change the World
Me giving advice to a 22-year-old is a lesson in irony; because I know that the 22-year-old me wasn't good at listening to other people's advice. I'd like to think that I've gotten a little better over the years, but I'm a work in progress. Feel free to take or leave what I have to say. So I guess that's my first piece of advice: decide on your own who and what to listen to. But after that, I guess my second thought would be: Don't try to change the world - Try to change yourself The earth has been here for over 4 billion years and countless humans have walked its surface. It takes a lot of hubris to think that it needs you to save … [Read more...]